One of the key commonalities in difficult or strained relationships is that we tend to believe that the OTHER person is the source of the problem.
We often focus our attention on what they've done or who they are, when it is a larger dynamic, including our own feelings and perceptions that need to be addressed.
We see ourselves as the comic book victim in a thinly veiled story, and we divert attention from our own part in creating or sustaining the problem
This robs us of our power.
In the past week, I have heard all of the following remarks in conversations I’ve had regarding trust and relationships at work.
Do you notice how all of these comments- regardless of whether or not they can be shown to be factual - position the OTHER person as the source of the problem?
Just like in any comic book story, you are the villain, and I am the victim.
When we focus our attention solely on the other person and how they are annoying or harming us, we blind ourselves to our own feelings and needs, to our role in the situation, and to the things that we can do to make the situation better.
What if each of the statements above was followed or replaced by some introspection and personal accountability? Those same situations might sound like this…
Bottom line, when I am focused on the OTHER PERSON being the source of my pain and not bothering to examine my role, I’m distorting the image and giving them too much credit and too much power.
Instead, try this…
Ready to dig in and create healthy, high-trust relationships?
Get started today by joining the Building a High Trust Workplace course.
In this course, you’ll learn about the dynamics of trust and why restoring trust can be so difficult once we get into a negative spiral.
You’ll also learn the fundamental self-awareness and communication skills that you need to improve all of your relationships, and to restore and repair trust with others.
Yes, it’s called Building a High Trust Workplace but make no mistake- what you learn in this course will apply to every relationship in your life.
People who have joined me on this journey report immediate improvements in their relationships, and a renewed sense of satisfaction at work as they start to see the world anew and bring with more compassion and a clearer view to every interaction.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful to move proactively into stronger relationships and a clearer view of the world?
Growing as a leader takes focus and support - don't go it alone.
A place to connect with other leaders, learn from some of the many books on leadership style and theory, and become better leaders!